Queer Love will feature a letter on this page from time to time. Check back for updates.
Written for a long lost love
There will never be another woman more fit for me than you. Never will I look into anothers eye’s and see such a clear vision of my future the way I did when I looked in yours. In your own way you have taught me both how to love and how to let go of love. I keep on telling myself that not having you in my life is the Gods doing me a favor. Every time I miss you I attempt to replace it with the joy of no longer wanting you. After failing at this time and time again I’ve decided to simply get through the agony of the loss of you the best way I can.
It is without you that I am forced to go on. I keep on reassuring myself that it is for the best. I keep on surrounding myself with thoughts of a future where I don’t feel the pain of waking up without you. It’s just that every time I close my eyes, every time I smell certain smells, every time I think of love, it is only you that comes to mind.
Have a become a monster to you? Have you locked me out of any of your thoughts? When was it that you determined your future would be best without me in it? I would have liked to have been there that day. I would have liked to hold your hand and watched your life transform without me in it.
I am alone now. Standing on top of a world that only seemed to make sense with you in it. You are as close to me as a stranger. You are as far from me as you’ve ever been. I sit alone with tears that have no explanation. I sit alone with the loss of you, chosen, but not for the right reasons. If you were to see me now you would see the lack of life I’m living. There is nothing worse than waiting to be saved by someone who has forgotten your name. Nothing worse than trying to hold on to someone that no longer wants to be anyone to you.
I am alone but I’m still alive. I’m alive, but I’m less of who I am without you. May you never forget where your heart belongs. May you never think that you can’t come back. May you never believe that I fell out of love with you.
When I first read this letter, I cried. There’s this overwhelming mixture of love and pain; it over took me. The love is undeniable in this letter; it almost has a physical presence to it. My hope is that I could find even a fraction of this kind of love one day. This love truly survives all.
I swear I wrote this letter to myself a few years ago…I feel as if you stole my own emotions and wrote them down!
I just went through a horrible break up a few years ago and this is exactly the way i felt…
“There is nothing worse than waiting to be saved by someone who has forgotten your name. Nothing worse than trying to hold on to someone that no longer wants to be anyone to you.”
My heart tightened and ached when I read these words…it’s amazing after all these years how real that pain can be.
This is just hauntingly beautiful. Well done.
“There is nothing worse than waiting to be saved by someone who has forgotten your name. Nothing worse than trying to hold on to someone that no longer wants to be anyone to you.”
This is totally how I feel, too. Totally.