The girl who likes you (love note story)

My story is this:

I like this girl, and she’s in fine arts. The fine arts students at my university have a little lounge where they sit all the time. In the lounge is a little table where there are scrabble pieces that people use to spell things or say “I was here”

One night I wrote


I didn’t think that she would see it because it was before the weekend and there was a whole bunch of days for someone to move the letters around. I didn’t hear anything about if from her or the people who knew her, so I thought no one found it. When she asked me if I left it there I almost died. I said no, but I really wanted to say yes.

Yesterday I went there and wrote with the letters


When I was leaving the area I noticed that there was a green sign taped onto the wall that said


I smiled to myself. She doesn’t know that I’m not in art history.

Tomorrow night, or one night this week, I am going to post this note/poster near hers. Exams are coming up, so I doubt she’ll see any of the notes I leave now. She might not even see this one or the last, but I thought it was really important to somehow express my thoughts.


I thought about you 2day.

I thought about you 2day. wondered what you were up 2. if you were happy
or sad. if you were having a good day. if you were, by any chance,
thinking the same about me. I’ve realized that 97% of my day is spent
thinking about you (the other 3% on random life things of course). I had
a dream bout you last nite. I would tell you about it, but dad always
said that “if you tell someone about your dream, it won’t come true”, so
I’ll just say that I was holding you in my arms like I always do after
our long love making sessions. and I was upset 2 find that when I awoke
the next mornin, it was just apart of my imagination. it all seemed so
real. so perfect. so right. just you & me not thinking twice about the
2moros 2 come, but just living 4 the moment. I wanna have more moments
with you. moments where we can have an in-depth conversation w/out
speaking a single word. moments where your “just because” feel like Xmas
mornings. moments where we’re both nervous & scared, but more scared
than nervous because we’re falling 4 one another and think it’s too soon
4 such feelings. moments where after saying I love you 4 the 1st time,
we can’t stop smiling because it feels soo damn good to both say & here
it. I want to be both tolerant of you & patient w/you. I want 2 tolerate
your crankiness. I want 2 tolerate you having the last word after a
heated argument. I want 2 tolerate you when you have your immature
moments (as we all have our days). I want 2 be patient enough 2 get 2
know you. I want 2 be patient enough 2 tolerate your smart ass mouth. I
want 2 be patient enough 2 help you grow. I want 2 be patient enough 2
want 2 know what you’re crying for, or why you shake your leg when
you’re upset, or why you give me the silent treatment when you’re mad,
or when I ask you what’s wrong, you lie and say “nothin” w/tears rolling
down your cheeks. I want 2 be patient enough 2 understand why you’re
afraid 2 fall 4 me. I want 2 be patient enough 2 not get mad @ you when
you don’t say it back because you can only say those 3 words when you
truly mean it. I want 2 build something worth while w/you. I want you 2
trust me. I want 2 get through the rain, floods, and hail w/you & when
the storm is over, I want 2 look up in the sky & see a rainbow. I want
you 2 love me just as I love you. I want 2 learn from you. I want 2 be
w/you. I just want……..you!☆★☆=



She probably thinks some other professor is really great now, anyway.
She’s the type.
What type?
The type who admires around indiscriminately.
The intellectual’s whore.

In some ways, the task for the would-be lover is to move from thinking this person is the only person she could feel this way about, that fire and home reside only in this person, to understanding that she has gone through a universal human experience, and there will be others who evoke similar responses;
Whereas the task for the rejecter is the opposite – to move from thinking it was “just a crush, it could have been pretty much anybody, I’m not important” to understanding that she does have a uniqueness in the would-be lover’s perception of her, that she does matter as an individual in the process, that the would-be lover actually felt that way about her.

I felt a tug or pull from an invisible cord, somewhere in my gut. What’s that? Oh, nothing… The tug continued irregularly, then gaining a regular rhythm and an increasing power, like the music from Jaws. What? What’s going on? Something’s coming…{anxiety}…Then, I tripped, or suddenly fell over the edge of a cliff. It was like being hit on the head with a sledgehammer. Oh shit! All I saw was red, flashing like a slow-moving strobe light. All I heard was low bass, a whomp…whomp…whomp in time with the strobe light, the sound of a helicoptor’s blades rotating in slow-motion, the sound of the alarm on the sinking Titanic. It was not my fault. I was just standing there, I did nothing to invite this, to make it welcome or let it think it might find a home in me. This foreign body, this interloper, this usurper, this love. It’s like being struck by lightning. Suddenly, life makes sense at a much deeper level, all the pain, the fear, and the joy. Even knowing, always knowing, it wasn’t mutual, it was never going to be.

And she’s going to have children with this asshole, this man.
Who may be perfectly charming.
I don’t care. And I don’t wish them well.
You wish them ill?
You wish for screaming fights?
For cold distance, or bland indifference?
You wish for stillborn babies?
For bitter disappointments, for financial ruin? For car accidents, for lost limbs, for lost dreams?
No, no, no, no, no.
For kids with ears that stick out?
You wish her well?
You wish them well.

So, what did you wish for, what did you want?
I wanted her!
To be with, to know.
To nurture, to protect.
To have and to hold.
To possess. To have her as mine.

I wanted you so much , you were all I could see, I couldn’t stop staring. “Please, move this way, move that way, look up and smile.” I wanted to make you feel secure, make you feel happy. I wanted to see you out of control. I wanted to be with you, to be inside you, to hear you moan, to make you come. I wanted you to come home with me. I wanted to talk with you, to make you laugh, to laugh with you and for you. I wanted you so much, and you hardly saw me. I wanted you so much, and you thought I was cute, you found my nervousness charming. I wanted you, and you didn’t want me. I wanted to love you, and you were flattered. After, I thought about you all the time, couldn’t sleep, barely ate, lost in a fog of memory and desire. Time stopped for me, and you went on with your life. Time stopped for me, and you never looked back. I can never forget you, I can never forgive you.


Link: Unrequited Love


today while im driving to work I will think of you and get butterflies

today while im driving to work I will think of you and get butterflies.
as I approach the door to the girls locker room to hang up my coat, I
will imagine you on the other side half naked tryin 2 put on your
uniform. as im walking down the halls to clock in, I will picture you
running into my arms telling me how much you need me. when I see you
walk through the door I will forget 2 breathe. I will smile at you and
you’ll smile back and my heart will cease to beat. you will then hug me
as you always do and as your arms wrap around my body I will grow chills
and my mind will enter another dimension where I am the only one that
can have all of you. you will then tell me how you haven’t seen me at
work in a while and I will tell you that my hours got cut because of all
the new people getting hired, when what I really want to say is that its
been torture not having seen your beautiful face in almost seven whole
days. you will then look me in my eyes and ask me what I work as? and at
that very moment I will think of saying “anything you want me to work
as” i. you will then place your soft hands on my shoulders and ask me
what am I thinking about. I will snap back to life acting as if nothing
happen, smile at you and reply “usher, I work as usher.” you will then
hug me again saying how much you’ve missed me and that work has been
very boring for you without me. you will then fill me in on everything
that has been going on with you in the past week as we walk to the girls
locker room to make sure we look cute in our uniforms. as you speak in
your soft sexy voice to make sure that no one else hears the story but
me, I will picture that same sexy tone whispering in my ear telling me
how, when, and where you want me as I lay on top of you with my lips
attached to your neck. you will then see my blank reflexion in the
mirror and ask me if im ok. I will say “yes im fine” and you will
continue on with your story. we will then walk into theater 22 which is
where twilight will be playing and wait for it to let out. as you stand
in front of me watching the last 5 minutes of the movie, I will see how
the light projects off of the big screen and onto your gorgeous face and
my eyes will slowly creep down to your round bottom. my knees will grow
weak as I picture holding you tight in my arms and kissing your
voluptuous lips under a full moon. as the movie lets out we will hold
the doors open and greet the guests and I will take quick glances at you
as the guests exit. as we enter the theater alone to make sure that it
looks good for the next showing, I will imagine laying your head on one
of the arms of the seats and making love to every inch of your body as
soft moans escape your luscious lips. after straightening the theater we
will open the doors to let the guest know that they can now enter to
take their seats and we will move on to the next theater, repeating the
process until its time to clock off. oh how I love going to work.


as I sit here in my bed looking at you im surprised I haven’t exploded

as I sit here in my bed looking at you im surprised I haven’t exploded
because of how much space you occupy in my heart. my mind is racing with
a million questions and I can’t seem to figure out which one I want to
ask you. this seems like a never ending fairytale, but in this
particular story there are no bad guys to stop me from reaching my
happily ever after. god you look so good sleeping next to me. I want so
bad to wake you and wrap your sexy legs around my back, but you just
look so peaceful I dare not to disturb you. if only you could see what I
have been staring at since you dozed off eight hours ago you would be in
awe too. you are so damn gorgeous and you’re right here in my bed with
your hair scattered every which a way. one leg under the cover while the
other is teasing me screaming “lick me…you know you want to.” how is
it that you drive me crazy when your not even awake? I am so tempted to
just rip that aero shirt off of your body and devour “the twins”. you
would of thought that I got enough of them last night but what can I
say, im addicted. I wonder if you love me or if your atleast falling for
me because I know for a fact that I am beyond head over heels for you. I
wonder if your heart skips a beat when you think of me? I wonder if you
can picture yourself with me forever? I wonder if you like sleeping in
my aero shirt? I wonder if you like sleeping in my bed? oh god! was that
a stretch? I think I jus died for a couple of seconds and came back to
life. I love you so much!!! I don’t care if you don’t love me yet. I
have to tell you how I feel. wake up baby so I can give you my heart.
wake up so I can tell you everything I’m thinking. wake up so I can see
your beautiful eyes. just wake up just to be waking up. I swear all you
have to do for the rest of your life is wake up and I promise you that I
will take care of the rest. I know they say that you shouldn’t make
someone your everything because if that person decides to leave you one
day, then you’ll be left with nothing. but to be honest I don’t give a
damn what they say. you are my everything and if you decide to leave me
one day, god forbid, but if you do, then ill jus have nothing. I wonder
if I whisper in your ear if you’ll wake up then? I don’t want to wake
you but…damn that you need to get up so my mind can quit with all
these irrational thoughts. me whispering into your beautiful ear: “I’m
past getting butterflies every time I hear your name. I’m past my heart
skipping a beat every time I see your face. I’m past entering that
other dimension everytime our lips meet or anytime my lips come in
contact with any part on your body. I’m past feeling my heart swell
everytime our eyes meet. you have completely taken up all of the space
in my mind. when I close my eyes your face appears. if I sit in silence
I can still hear your sexy voice telling me how much I drive you crazy
when I touch you there or taste that particular part of you. I am past
falling for you. ashley I am in love with you. all of you. and I don’t
care if you don’t love me right now.”
I wonder if you heard me? nope your eyes are still closed and you
haven’t moved a muscle. maybe its a sign. maybe im in love all by
myself. I guess ill go downstairs and cook breakfast. it beats sitting
here feeling dumb for pouring my heart out to you when you’re not even
awake to listen.
you in your sexy sleepy voice: “do me a favor and just lay here please
babe. I heard everything and I am speechless. instead of telling you I’m
going to show you how much I love you because there aren’t enough words
to express the amount of love I hold for you in my heart.”
as I watch you pull me down so that my back is now on your pillow and
you position yourself so your eyes are staring directly into mines, I
take in all of your sexyness and at that very moment I realize that
watching you wake up every morning is where I want to be for the rest of
my life.


you’ve teased me far to long

you’ve teased me far to long with the softness of your lips. I can still
taste your cotton candy lip gloss. I’ve never wanted to taste caramel so
much until I felt the smoothness of your skin. I’ve called you 8 times,
but your phones off because you’re at work. “hey you’ve reached Ashley,
sorry im not here to answer your call at this time…” is all im
hearing. your sexy voice is driving me crazy and I know that I should
stop calling you, but I can’t bring myself to do so. if I don’t get you
and I mean all of you, then I’m bound to check myself into a psych ward.
wait…are those keys im hearing at the door? I didn’t even know it was
that late. you open the door and before you know it my hands are
everywhere. your bare back is against the wall and my face is near your
belt buckle. now face to face with intimacy, I take time to introduce
myself properly. “hello, my name is Toni and it is such a pleasure to
finally meet you.” it begins to get real hot and the room start to spend
as your breaths become quicker with each exhale. your hips follow my
rhythm and we dance. black eyes meet hazel eyes and for the first time,
I see that you really need me. you grip my arm with a death grip as to
say that if I stop you might die. I pick up speed and keep a steady
pace. now as you exhale I inhale and at that very moment you are my only
source of oxygen. moans turn into screams of pleasure and I ask you to
do me one favor. once again black eyes meet hazel eyes and I say: “cum
for me Ashley.” this time hazel eyez meet a caramel ear and I whisper
softly “cum for me baby…you know you want to.” keeping in mind that
you jus came 3X’s before and I know that your body can’t possibly take
another but you always seem to surprise me. you grip my arm tighter and
your body starts to shake. suddenly black eyes dissappear under eyelids
and you release yourself. your hair is stuck to your forehead and you
are drenched in sweat, but u are so freaking gorgeous! this image of you
shall forever be stuck in my head. u manage to gain a little strength to
smile and in a soft whisper you say the most beautiful line I’ve heard
all evening: “that one was just for you Toni.”



I’ll Always Know That


June 2018
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